2nd XI vs Old Willies 1st XI (Away) | 19 Jan 20

Won 2-1

Scorers: J Gooding, J Rolfe

MoM: O Ridge

DoD: C Alder

Canterbury Mens 2s vs Old Willies 1s – Kent Cup

After two strong performances from the Mens 2nd XI and Pilgrims this weekend, a cold, yet sunny Sunday brought the fresh challenge of hockey’s equivalent of the FA Cup; The Faithdean Kent Cup.

Canterbury travelled away to Old Willies, to play on their newly laid pitch where they’ve even moved the dugouts which block sunlight. The end result, an icy sideline. In my limited experience, if a player was to slip, there could be a potential insurance payout as where there’s blame, there’s a claim. A quick internet search shows anywhere in the region of £1,300 – £105,000. With tired legs, and sore heads, it was certainly going to be an interesting game.

The game started well with Tom Richford starting at pushback with an aerial through to the left hand corner. Canterbury, playing a controlled possession game of hockey were the equivalent to a full-proofed, well thought out lawsuit, legal team dressed in tailored fit, wool blend suits. OW’s on the other hand were the defendant who when told to “dress smart”, dressed in a matching Nike tracksuit, who thinks that shouting “No comment”, “Objection” and “I know my rights” will win them the case. This explained why none of them seemed to know any Hockey Law, and this in elements influenced the game with OW’s being awarded free hits for arguments which just weren’t the truth. This riled the Canterbury Plaintiff with Craig “The Barrister” Alder, objecting to the defendants arguments whenever possible; However the two judges were having none of it, as they themselves couldn’t understand the case presented by the OW’s defendants.

This led to a flurry of penalty corners against Canterbury which were excellently kept out by Chris Laslett, “The Barrister”, Alex Rydon and the Mighty Crane. However soon after, an angry Max Shillings from weeks past came running back, flooring an OW’s groupie outside the D which was upgraded to a short. Once again “The Barrister” asked for proof of such a heinous crime, however there was no CCTV to prove otherwise. Once again, it was kept out with a goal line save by Rydon. No runs. But the judge perceived there to be a body on the line, awarding a penalty flick. Vas “The Russian Wall”, made an incredible effort to get across the goal, however the OW’s lynchpin put it side netting with a shady backhand deal to the jury. OW’s celebration was as if they had just scored the winning penalty of the World Cup final.

Recess called by the judges and Canterbury were behind. However, much of the case to still be delved in to and presented to the jury. Brad replaced the “Russian Wall” in goal as he was back from “Meeting a bird outside a shop”.

Riled by the situation, Canterbury came out fighting. Will Giltrow enacting the 11th commandment “Thou shalt not run through a flat stick”, dispossessing OW’s on many occasions. Canterbury played to their strengths and kept cool heads as they knew that they would win the case by the end of the game. As graceful and skilled as a harpist, Chris Laslett, gracefully plucked possession away from OW’s. This allowed Tom Richford, who was constantly keeping the press and public updated on the game, through his sideline interactions to take a firm grip on the game and dictate how it would go. These two senior partners of the Canterbury law firm, guided the case for the young, budding legal team to charge onwards.

“The barrister” stole some evidence from the OW’s case with a reverse stick, setting up a nice attack between himself, Zak Williams and Ollie Ridge. OW’s unable to find a copy of said evidence, panicked and left Jack Gooding loitering, and slapped the ball bottom left. The case was really starting to open up.

This thrilled Canterbury and gave them a much needed confidence boost. This allowed some lovely “joue-joue” hockey to be played with excellent passing and link up play between the defence and midfield. Will Giltrow and Jack Rolfe to note in particular. Ollie Ridge also stood out with some great wing play, setting up a lot of chances to sway the jury’s vote. It was this constant supply of damning evidence which allowed Jack Rolfe, to get the keeper to rush across the court room at the Plantiff, get stopped by security and leave the goal unoccupied. 2-1 to Canterbury! Three Sausage Soggs (Sam Biccarino) stood calm in the midfield and kept the ball well, to ensure that Canterbury didn’t get carried away and slip up following their second goal. The team held strong, which included some tackling efforts which by Hockey Law are “frowned upon”; Unethical but not Illegal. It’s all about knowing how to bend the rules and not break them.

Although Canterbury had plenty of chances to increase the sentence of the defendant, the graduates in the legal team were unable to make a good enough case to the judges and this was the end score line.

All in all, a fun game of hockey played in the sun, followed by a lovely Carvery at the Victoria Hotel for half of the team. A great start to the Cup Run and a great start for Will Giltrow’s podcast, with special guests, poles apart Jack Rolfe and Brad Brown-Lea.

Squad: Vas Agafonov

A Rydon
P Crane
W Giltrow
C Alder
T Richford
S Biccarino
M Shillings
Z Williams
J Gooding
O Ridge
C Laslett
J Rolfe
B Brown-Lea