2nd XI vs Old Georgians 2nd XI (Away) | 05 Oct 19

Drew 3-3

Scorers: Jack Gooding x3

MoM: Jack Gooding

DoD: Craig Alder

The 2nd XI travelled away to Old Georgians this weekend to play in what sure would be a gritty, hard fought fixture, in line with last seasons outings. After a 5km trek from the car park to the smallest changing room in the world, the 2s decided to have their team talk on the pitch. A rousing speech from Captain Dunn and the boys were ready.

The game started fast, with OGs pressing high and applying pressure quick. Taunting the Canterbury defence about their passing ability, OG’s peer pressured the 2s in to hitting it extremely hard down the line. The OG’s tactic worked with them getting what they wanted, turning over the ball a lot. It wasn’t until Zak Williams, took a sideline and threw the largest squarial you have ever seen off of the pitch, as if to take the schoolyard bully’s school bag and throwing it over the school fence. This energised the 2s, who were up for an after school scrap in Netto car park. Captain Dunn however called his mum to come and pick him up, and handed in a forged injury note, saying that he shouldn’t part take in Games because of an injured groin.

OG’s were stunned that the boys from East Kent fought back and couldn’t handle the pace at which the 2s countered. This led to a succession of breakaways, in which led to the first goal of the game. Senior prefect Jack Gooding shoulder barged the year 7 defender waiting in line for his school dinner in to wall, and rounded the smart-mouthed dinner lady guarding the prized apple crumble and custard to take the lead. Smug with their efforts, the 2s tried to stay with the same tactic, to great effect. Dazed from the blow, OG’s were off the pace of the game, but managed to land a damaging right hook from the baseline, before the lunchtime supervisor put a stop to the action. The score, 1-1 at half time.

The midfield line, decided to go for the schoolboy tactic of hitting the biggest guy there and it worked. OG’s looked shaken, that the boys from East Kent had boshed their biggest kid off of the ball. However the OG’s pack weight being significantly higher would mean that they could get back in to the fight whenever they liked. After landing another quick couple of blows of counter attacks and cross field balls from the likes of Buckingham, OG’s came back with a heavy blow to take the lead 2-1. As once taught in Religious Studies, if you get hit on one cheek, turn the other. We quickly found ourselves on the ground 3-1 down, with the crowd thinking the fight was over.

The 2s however tasted blood, picked themselves back up, and it was time for the Rich Boys (Richford and Richard) to pick on the Poor (work rate of the OG’s midfield). With Captain Dunn, still on the side thinking of some material to cyber bully opposition teams on Twitter, it was up to Chris Laslett to lure the OG forward line in to a false sense of security and then smash the block from beneath their feet whenever they looked dangerous. The 2s invigorated from the humiliation inflicted by Laz, were back up swinging. The crowd didn’t like it, but Charlie Lloyd-Hughes was quick to tell them to pipe down and go back to the hole they crawled from. Quickly, we found ourselves with OG’s on the back foot from a quick flurry of blows and OG’s were struck with a roundhouse kick on the line, which the teachers thought was fair enough reason to award an after school detention to OG’s. Jack Gooding stepped up and delivered the harshest of Yo Mama insults to convert the penalty flick to reduce the deficit to 3-2.
OG’s didn’t appreciate to untoward comment and struck back, but Brad Brown-Lea turned up on his BMX outside the school gates, baseball bat in one hand, brick from Bridge in the other; waiting for the OG’s forward to come out of class and made a great goal line save.

The OG’s forward’s best mate Will “I’m a broad boy” Giltrow flattened Brown-Lea and he was out for the count. Captain Dunn offered to scrap the Tweets and offered to put the kit on. But Brown-Lea got back up. The police had been called for the abuse on a minor by Giltrow, and they were six minutes out. Ben Young; recently converted to the religion of being a forward and Tom Oberg; the Australian cousin of an absent Paddy Brookson who was serving time in Sittingbourne Juvy, attacked well setting up a couple of short corners.

A minute left until the Popo put a stop to the game. Alder found himself in the action and got his nunchucks out with a late shot/“cross”, which somehow the dinner lady managed to keep out of her prized kitchen. However, the Rich boys reminder her whose parents paid her wages and were able to get a chance at the end from the long corner. She dropped the tray of prized apple crumble and whilst blinded by the tears of upset, Jack Gooding managed to snatch it from her fingers, giving himself a hat-trick, equalising the game. 3-3 the final result and a well-earned point for the 2s.

Squad: B Brown-Lea, A Dunn, C Laslett, C Lloyd-Hughes, W Giltrow, T Richford, R Keir, N Buckingham, C Alder, Z Williams, J Gooding, B Young, T Oberg